That Others May Also Be Blessed

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.” – Ric Ocasek

      

   

  

   

I cried today - again.  I cried because I called my sister, asked her to disrupt her day, drive to Tim Hortons and get me a French Vanilla Cappuccino.  As I hung up the phone, the tears began to flow.  When she showed up at my door and handed me my drink, I had another flood of tears.  What's the big deal?  She was happy to do it, so what's the big deal?  Why all the surge of emotion?  Because I'm tired.  I'm so tired of asking.  I'm so tired of being dependent on others any time I want to be able to go further than buying bread @ the local Mennonite bakery.

     Just over a year ago, my journey with seizures began.  I never imagined that now, a year later I would still be dealing with around 4 seizures a month.  Never imagined that I would still not be allowed behind the wheel of my car due to safety precautions.  This whole year has been about surrender.  Learning to give up my freedom and independence.  For someone who has lived in numerous countries, travelled extensively and enjoys finding new ventures to tackle, being so dependent on others is not easy.  I think I am learning to be more okay with the situation, and I can say my desire is to be living in full surrender to whatever God has for me, but then today happens and I am hit all over again with the limitations of my current life.  And I get angry.  Questioning why God is allowing this.  Trying to believe that somehow, there is good, yet weary of trying to stay positive and focused on God's goodness when nothing seems to be changing for the better.

    I don't know if I will ever understand God's purposes in this, other than to teach me to swallow my pride and ask for help.  I would much rather be the one lending the help than being the one in need of help.  But lately I've been thinking about the reality that if no one is ever in need of help, then we'd never have opportunity to fulfill God's commandment in Galatians 6:2 to "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ". (ESV)  If I'm not willing to humble myself and allow others to come alongside me during this time, I rob them of the opportunity to experience the blessing of caring for another and fulfilling the law of Christ.  I assume it's safe to say that none of us enjoys being the one in need.  Yet, if no one is ever in need, then we don't learn what it means to bear one another's burdens.  We don't experience the beauty of God's family as we walk alongside each other, embracing the pains of others as our own, so we can help them continue on during the hard seasons.

    Does all this make it any easier for me to request help?  Nope.  My pride still gets in the way and some days it's easier to just stay home instead of figuring out how I'll get somewhere.  I continue to deal with frustration and anger.  Yet, for whatever purpose, right now is my season to be in constant need.  Despite it all, if I'm able to look beyond the pain and frustration and change my attitude, I am able to see bits of good.  Relying on others for transportation has provided me opportunity to connect with people that otherwise I most likely wouldn't connect with a whole lot. 

    I try to continue to remain hopeful that this is only a season.  That some day, instead of watching dad hop behind the steering wheel of my car, it'll be me climbing into the driver's seat.  But until then, this is my time to ensure that I don't make the mistake of not asking for help. (Sandeep Jauhar)  A lot easier said than done!

      

            

     

Finals Week

Life has been so exciting the past week.  Okay, that may be one of the most sarcastic remarks that I have made in a while.  It's the beginning of finals.  Life has consisted of studying.  Tomorrow I write my first 2 finals and I am at the point of not caring anymore.  (Hope none of my professors stumble across this any time soon :) )  My brain is almost mush.  It can only hold so many facts and ideas about themes and motifs and metaphors and language and whatever else is involved with pieces of literature that I read this semester!

The extent of my excitement since last Friday has been documenting all the different study places I have occupied over the past 10 days.  I've documented about 8 but it's probably more like 10-11 different places by now, including the MRT station.  Diversity is key!

Here's the visual records.  Alysha has done a good job expressing the effects of studying through some awesome facial expressions.  Welcome to my life!

 Study Option #1

'The Pink Room'

 

Study Option #2

STARBUCKS

(this is also the "when I don't know where else to go" study option)

 

Study Option #3

Study Rooms at PGP

 



Study Option #4

Coffee Shop

(ok --- Starbucks!  Same coffee, different location)

Study Option #Take a Study Break

Sometimes getting artistic with a whiteboard and marker provide

a good distraction

Study Break

Watching Vice Documentaries make for a good study break

Study Option #5

UTown lawn until the sun takes away the shade

 



Study Option #6

Study Room at UTown

 



Study Option #7

Bet you can't guess where this is ... after all it's just another location that

serves caffeine: a student's best friend.  And in case anyone's interested

the Swiss Chocolate and Custard Danish has become my sweet tooth's best friend.

 

Just one page of the countless pages of study notes I have written out

 



Study Option #8

My Room

My least favourite option but sometimes

the thought of packing up and going somewhere is too much.

 

 

And now that I've successfully used my blog as another method (or excuse) for a study break, it is time to go back over those notes one or two or three more times before 9 a.m. 

 

But before I do that, here's a bit more about life:

Besides studying, I have had the pleasure of spending some time with a dear friends from Canada.  Well technically she is from Hong Kong, but we met at school in Waterloo.  Victoria flew in Sunday morning and is here for a few days.  I'm looking forward to being able to spend even more time with her after finals.  Having her here will be a good reason to go check out those last few 'to visit' places that are still on my list.

 

The reality that I'm leaving soon is starting to really sink in.  On Friday I booked my room inspection that needs to be done at least 3 days before I check out.  On Saturday I pulled my big old backpack out of the closet and started stuffing stuff in it.  However, there is excitement about heading home.  After all, besides the fact that I have family and friends that I am ready to see and spend time with, I am also very excited about finally being able to meet and hold my newest niece.  She's a darling. 

 

 

 

That's all.  The next time could very easily be from the opposite side of the globe.







Visitors: Play Shop Dine

Precisely 3 days after returning from an amazing visit with Jenni in Cambodia, I found myself hopping on the MRT in the direction of Changi Airport.  I had one goal in mind.  Get to the airport and pick up Rhonda and Aom.  These two flew in from Chiang Mai to spend a few days with me.

It has been great to be able to do a little bit of traveling around SE Asia again but having friends enter my world in Singapore was just as amazing!  I had fun playing tour guide when time allowed.  There were times where I had to leave them to their own adventures due to school responsibilities.  However, I still feel like I had lots of opportunity to hang out with them.  Their visit will definitely be a highlight of my time here.

They arrived Wednesday night and we basically spent the next few days living up to the Singapore mantra of:

 

I took them on a tour of my campus and residence.

We rode the Singapore Flyer.

 Visited Gardens by the Bay and went through the Cloud Forest.  

We watched the laser show at Marina Bay Sands.

We ventured into Chinatown, Holland Village and Little India.  

There was a trip to the beach at Sentosa and 

some wandering to different points of interest on the island.  

Saturday plans got changed due to a wet, rainy day but we still had fun.

     Had a pizza and movie night.

Introduced Aom to Chinese and Indian cuisine.

Relaxed.  Chatted. Enjoyed each other's company.

Aom temporarily buried Rhonda in the sand.

We became addicted to taking pictures with mirrors.

Street Food:

 

Singapore Flyer:

Sentosa Island:

 Gardens by the Bay/Cloud Forest:

        

 

 

 

Just Chillin' (and putting Aom to work):

                      

 

Marina Bay:

Orchard Road:

Food:

 

The Mirror Shots:

 

 

This really just scratches the surface of our time together but since the memories behind the photos realy won't mean that much to really anyone other than me, I'll end off here.